What I've learned....in the last 12 months.

We changed out our closets this week. You know, that whole transition from spring/summer clothes to the fall/winter ones that it isn't quite cold enough to wear yet, but you are afraid of an artic blast pressing it's way through the South so unseasonably, and being caught with nothing warm to put on? It was this transition last year that convicted me to begin my 12 month shopping fast. This means...I have 3 weeks left of my fast. It ends October 11th.
I am feeling many emotions..relief...pride...guilt...fear...anxiousness...impatience...I am relieved and ready for this to be over..but at the same time, I'm scared to not have that discipline anymore. I don't want to return to being a shopaholic!! Now, I am looking forward to buying myself a few new essentials and I have my eye on a pair of new boots. But I want to stay focused and maintain my attitude of shopping for necessary items as opposed to shopping for wants. I am celebrating with a couple of friends by going to Atlanta for a shopping weekend in November, and I'm limiting what I can buy for myself-it will mostly be a Christmas gift shopping experience.
In the midst of this fast, my husband and I have refocused our budget (we did Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace back in the spring) and there is a small amount in there for shopping. I have two children that are growing at a ridiculous pace, I can't buy my son more than a couple of items of clothing at a time because he outgrows them too quickly. Most of that shopping budget is directed towards keeping them covered.
Last year, when I set this goal for myself, I also wanted to downsize my wardrobe. I got rid of about 3 large trashbags of clothes last fall. All in great shape, and was able to donate them to a women's shelter. This year, as I went through the spring/summer things that I was taking out of my closet, and the fall/winter things I was putting in, I got rid of anything that I didn't wear this past year, which happened to be quite a bit. Things that are in great shape, but not "my shape" I piled into two large boxes and I'm delivering them to a new home today. Things that were just ratted out I threw away. My closet is still full of things! I am not in NEED of anything other than some new long sleeve t-shirts.
I want to keep that focus and be a good example to my children of knowing the difference between need and want. I want to continue to be thankful for the things that I have, and not search for happiness in some new trendy item. This whole thing has kind of been like hitting the reset button on my outlook of what is important and meaningful in my life, and while I am really going to enjoy getting a new pair of boots..my life is not going to end if I don't buy them. And chances are, if I don't see some that I just fall in love with..I will talk myself out of buying them. I don't want to view it as a reward. The reward I have recieved from this is the way God has worked in my life over the last 12 months. The way He has worked on my patience, my self image, my gratitude for the blessings in my life, the way I view what is a blessing...I am proud of myself, but in many ways, I'm still ashamed of what led me to do this in the first place. It's somewhat embarassing to admit to being a materialistic person!!! And I know that I still have some materialistic roots in my being. It is a work in progress, and while I feel like I have made much progress..there is still so much room for growth. So, these next few weeks, I am going to be praying steadfastly for God to really instill the things I have learned over the last year so that when the calendar flips to October 11th, and I know Satan is going to be waiting for me (he has been taunting me the whole last year), I will be able to look him in the face and tell him to back off. Will you all say it with me?
"BACK OFF!!!"

09/11

Eleven years ago today, September 10th, 2001,  my son was about 8 months old. We were gearing up for my husband's first deployment away from us in his military career. He was scheduled to leave on September 20th.  I was nervous about the separation and how it would effect each of the three of us, but I was relieved that we were living at home (Louisiana) at the time, and my family was close by to help support us. The word "terrorist" and "terrorist attack" were not things that consumed my thoughts or dictated how I planned ahead for trips. I knew they existed, but they seemed like such a foreign concept. Those kind of things just didn't happen on our soil. I thought of them much like people think of any other tragedy they hear about, as something that happened to other people. I went to bed that night counting the days that we had left before Richard was scheduled to leave and thinking about the things we had left to tend to before that day arrived. The next morning arrived and our schedule was as usual. I was a stay at home mom at the time, and went about tending to Brian and our normal morning routine. I fed him breakfast and let him play for a while, I think I was reading a book while he played. It came time for his morning nap, and just as I was laying him down in his crib the phone rang. Richard was on the other end and he asked if I was watching the news. I turned it on while he filled me in that a plane had just hit the World Trade Center. It didn't make sense to me, I couldn't process what was happening..then as we were on the phone talking and watching the news, the second plane hit. We saw it hit. Richard said "I have to go, this is a terrorist attack." I remember just standing there with the phone in my hand staring at the TV and trying to understand. The next few hours are a blur and kind of surreal. We were living on base at Barksdale AFB then, and the base was immediately locked down. You couldn't get on or off the base. I was on the phone with my parents filling them in, they didn't have TV's at their workplace. I called my oldest sister, a high school teacher, and told her to get a TV in her room. And then I remember thinking about the fact that Richard was supposed to leave in a few days. How the idea of that had all ready been scary, but now it was...terrifying. I remember seeing the smoke and ash covered faces of people that had made it out of the building. Seeing those that were stuck in the building that felt they had no other choice but to jump. The tears coming down faces. The faces that were obviously in shock. Hearing about the plane that hit the Pentagon. Hearing about the plane that crashed in that field..and everyone on board dying. My son waking up from his nap and wondering what kind of world he had just woken up to..and realizing he would never know anything different. Those next months went by slowly, as we sent Richard off to his deployment and then welcomed him back home. Shortly after, we found out we were moving to England, and while I was excited about the opportunity ahead of us, I was terrified of the unknowns and what could happen. There were two terrorist attacks on the tube in London while we lived there. A friend and I went to London between the two bombings. We rode on the tube and I remember looking at anyone with any bag bigger than a lunchsack with fear and suspicion. My daughter was born there in 2004. Neither of my children, as so many others, will know a world where 09/11 doesn't have the terrible memories that it does now. Will it end up being a memory like Pearl Harbor is to those who didn't live through it? Will complacency take over again? Has it all ready? Our world is forever changed. The lives taken that day will never be forgotten by those of us that witnessed the events unfold. The victims and their families are forever in our thoughts and prayers.
Never forget.

My boy

That's my boy. My little boy. My little boy that will be 12 in January. TWELVE. He is about an inch shy of being as tall as I am (I am 5'6"). We bought him men's size 9 cleats about 4 weeks ago and they are too small all ready, as are the men's 29x30 uniform pants we bought him a week before school started. This is why I only buy him 2 pairs of pants at a time. He is a bottomless pit when it comes to food, and is a meat and bread kind of boy. No veggies getting snuck by him!

Tracking the Outdoors In

This past weekend, Richard and I took the kids to the Buckmaster Expo here in Montgomery. While there, we got an upclose and personal peek at some well known folks such as Troy Landry from Swamp People and his sons and Mike Waddell from Bone Collector, even Jackie Bushman, the head hauncho of Buckmasters. But the person I was most thrilled to meet and even had a very friendly conversation with, was Stacy Harris, in the picture with me above. (Ignore my horrible posture and pale face and sloppy outfit...focus on Stacy's beautiful hair and slim figure..did I mention she has 7 children?). Stacy recently released a cookbook called "Tracking the Outdoors In", and it's stuffed full of recipes that focus on wild game...right up my alley! She has a website, www.gameandgarden.com, where she blogs and shares recipes. She's beautiful and very sweet to visit with us and even signed my cookbook!

Back To School...

My children started back to school over the last few weeks..Brian on the 13th and Rachel this past Monday. Here's a few pics of them on their first day of 6th grade (Brian) and 3rd grade (Rachel)....

Showing off the feather she got while we were at the beach a few weeks ago. Have I mentioned how much I didn't want her to get one? Then I reminded myself to choose my battles wisely...

Mimi called to wish her a good day at school right when we were getting ready to leave..

Look at how grown my little boy is!!! And handsome! Plus he's really sweet and kind.

And there he is with my handsome husband. He gets all his wonderful attributes from that man! Love them!

Anyway..I had forgotten how stinking busy it is when they are in school! Between school, cheer practice and football practice, we are all worn out by 8pm every night. Getting back in this routine is tough, but necessary. This is absolutely one of my favorite times of the year, and this August has been a delightfully mild one. I'm hoping that means we have a great winter in store!

Brian's football Jamboree is this Saturday, I'm looking forward to cheering him and his team to victory. I think I'm going to be that mom that gets a t-shirt with my son's face screenprinted on the front, and perhaps a large button that says "I'm #67's Mom!"

...I hope his number is 67...

Pray for my man as he is here next week with the kids on his own. I am heading to New Mexico with my father for an antelope hunt! I'm so excited, I can't stand it! They have gotten one each year they have gone, I'm hoping that I don't break their luck!! I'm sure I'll have great stories to share when we get back. In the meantime, I hope everyone's having a good back-to-school season!

Sum-Sum-Summertime!!

It's mid-July and feels like summer has flown by and I don't have a great tan to show for it!! I started out with a decent one back in May, but then June hit and we had to move and I've had no free time to soak up the sun! However, this Friday, my mother, sisters and our sweet children are heading to the beach for a few days of relaxation and sun-soaking! I am looking forward to a peaceful, relaxing visit. Then a week later, my husband and I are taking our children and going back to the beach for a full week of more relaxation and sun. We have been going non-stop since the kids got out of school in June and are about 95% settled into our new house.
We have loved the transition of life to taking care of 28 acres, however, my body is trying to figure out what the heck is going on! My arms are so sore from trimming tree limbs, re-doing flower beds, sweeping porches, not to mention all the boxes that have been opened, unpacked and broken down. Clearly, subdivision living did not provide the proper exercise level through daily chores for my poor limbs! All that said, we are very ready for guests at the new house, even have a sweet guesthouse for visitors to stay in:

We also have a new addition to the family, a bloodhound and Great Dane mix named Rebel. This picture was taken yesterday..he is 15 weeks old and huge all ready! He is a great dog and the kids love him tons.

Look at those feet!!

I'm praying that this last month of summer before the kids start back to school have some slow paced relaxation in there somewhere. Brian starts back to school August 13th and Rachel on the 20th. I'll be sure to post about the beach adventures coming up!



a morning ramble...

8 months into my "no clothes shopping"** and still feel like I need to downsize my closet some more. The house we have moved into has one closet in the master bedroom, and my husband only has his shoes and uniforms in there, the rest of his clothes are upstairs in our son's (big) closet because my clothes take up more than the rest of the space.

I guess moving makes me more aware of the quantity of our belongings, and the number of things we take for granted that we have. Things that I forget we own because we don't use them on a regular basis and sometimes only see when transitioning from one home to another, but can't seem to get bring ourselves to dispose of.

We've been blessed beyond measure (and I don't mean we have ridiculous amounts of belongings, just that we have above what our NEEDS are... I suppose it depends on who you are comparing us to), and I struggle with what we are doing to give back and return that blessing. I constantly feel like there is more that can be done....Beyond that, I also feel a call to minimize, to decrease the number of things that I have come to believe are necessity. While refraining from shopping has helped to not increase the number of things, I haven't done enough to bring that number down. Sometimes I know I feel God telling me to do something, but I'm not always great at hearing the details...I need prayers for clarity and discernment. I do know I don't want to be defined for the earthly possessions I have, but rather, what I do with what God has blessed me. I want to break this cycle of learned behavior that creates a sense of entitlement.."I have worked hard for this money, I deserve to buy ________" and create more a behavior of "God has blessed me with this money or means, how can I use it for His glory, and to further His Kingdom?" Living in a society that is constantly focused on what the next best thing is and how to get it, makes it very hard to stay focused on what God's purpose is for our life. I am pretty sure that God's purpose for me does not require a vast wardrobe full of trendy items and cute shoes. But it does require a heart of a servant and the willingness to act on what He leads me to do.



**I have to make a disclaimer/confession on the "no clothes shopping". My goal was to not purchase anything for myself that was not an absolute necessity. Here are some examples of what I have deemed necessity over the last 8 months:

1) dress for my husband's work Christmas party because I didn't have an appropriate one to fit my current "physique"
2) dress for my nephew's wedding...for similar reasons.
3) new t-shirts (I bought 4 for $10 each at Target last week) to replace the ones that were too small and had ant holes in them from the ants that invaded our closet a year ago.
4) new bathing suits that are modest and fit right for this summer. I bought 4 tankinis (we have a beach trip coming up and will be there for a week.)

Perhaps some of these things could have been eliminated as not being a necessity, but I am not claiming to be perfect, only making an attempt to stick to this pledge and conviction. Before and after most of those purchases, I was hesitant and sought reassurance (read "permission") from a few of the women in my life (my mom, my sister Michelle, and my friend Amy) whose opinions I trust and who understand the commitment I'm trying to fulfill, and who I know will help hold me accountable.